i don’t care.

make me feel like i did something wrong

because all i did was right

steal my opportunity to be happy

because all you are is sad

take a shot for me

because all i do is call the shots.

W. Meraki

retaliation

when decisions that you are supposed to make

are being made for you

it’s time for retaliation

when they want to force upon you options

that are not your options

it’s time for retaliation

W. Meraki

June 21st to December 21st: the loss in the solstice.

on the longest day of the year

we broke our promises to each other

we inevitably ended it all

what was supposed to be a forever thing

was now a destined nothing.

on the longest day of the year

i found my self in an abyss of distress

as they fell i was counting every tear

praying this pain will digress

what was supposed to be the best day of my life

would now be remembered as the day my heart took a knife

on the shortest day of the year

i picked up the broken promises

not a single tear

i began anew from our end

and my heart i began to mend

on the shortest day of the year

i am finally smiling from ear to ear

i am oh so happily in love

not with you

but with life itself.

W. Meraki

insomnia driven thoughts.

i always wonder

if things ended differently

would we have not ended

would we have survived

would i even want it

yearn for it

envision it

or were we at a

predisposition

for

failure

W. Meraki

apologies

be careful when accepting apologies

that were never given.

when they tell you they forgot to call

but nowhere in their sentence was there

an apology

no it’s not ok

when they tell you they just saw your

message…3 days later

but nowhere in their sentence was there

an apology

no it’s not ok

don’t say it’s ok if there wasn’t an apology

and when there is an apology

it’s still not okay.

W. Meraki

freedom

free i finally was

free from my thoughts

free from your cage

free from your words

i only became free when i stopped

letting you cross my mind

when i cleared my mind

rid it of all your toxicity

free i finally was

free from my thoughts

and free from my own mind.

W. Meraki

i miss myself so much.

i am grabbing back onto friendships

that i let go of

i am rekindling relationships that i

ended

i am going back to routines i

stopped

i am inhabiting my old habits

all this in hopes that i can become

who i was again

all this in hopes that maybe just maybe

i can have the happiness and the jubilance

that once defined me back

all this in hopes that maybe just maybe

i can let go of this dreariness

that is engulfing me and tearing me apart.

W. Meraki

as we approach january 1st 2018…

it’s time to let go of

those contacts in your phone

the ones that remind you of home

the ones that you think will call

if they haven’t

forget them all.

it’s time to let go of

those people in your life

the ones that were never there

their negativity isn’t fair

they pretend they’re happy for you

but really they don’t care.

it’s time to let go of

all the people you thought were outlets

because you really need to forget this

there was never any spark to begin with

just broken plugs and dead ends.

it’s time to let go of

your old self

take all your fake trophies off the shelf.

let go of the image you tried so hard to protect

and yourself you need not neglect.

W. Meraki

Ghost.

loving a ghost

living off a past

a mere

hallucination in

the present that

probably won’t last

mentally here

physically dead

saying everything i want

because it’s all in my head

loving a ghost

i swear it’s doing the most

oh what a feeling it is

to be doing this

here the way i want

not to haunt

not to taunt

living off a past

and

loving a ghost

hoping it’ll last.

W. Meraki

Just how I feel lately…

I listened to all the problems of others,

only to acquire the demons of which

were not mine.

Only to deal with the

ptsd of the events that I never

even experienced.

W. Meraki